Free Your Mind From All or Nothing Thinking

All or nothing thinking is the result of a stressed mind on auto-pilot. Instead of thinking about given situations and making choices in how we respond, the unattended mind will see things as everything or nothing. Black, or white.

Black words can make life difficult. Black words are negative and rigid, words like: never, terrible and impossible are key examples.

"I'll never be any good at ... (fill in the blank)"

And so it is. With this kind of self talk you can fail at anything fast.

White words aren't much better. One example of a white word that's likely to cause trouble is "perfect". The old saying tells us that nobody is, so why put ourselves through the stress of expecting anyone, or anything, to be perfect.

Mixing things up makes grey, and it's here that we'll find some freedom and flexibility in our thinking.

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One Quick Way to Banish Negative Thoughts

An anxious mind will sometimes throw you a negative thought, but it's not the thought alone that causes you to suffer -  it's how you respond, or more specifically, how much attention you’re willing to give that thought that gives it power.

Here’s an example I find helpful. If you throw a dog a stick it’s either going to chase it, or ignore it. A stick ignored remains a stick, an unremarkable scrap of wood that is noticed briefly as it sails through the air but is soon forgotten.

But a stick that a dog chases becomes an object of intense focus. Every time the dog sees that stick he’s going to chase it. He becomes fixated with it, he can’t take his eyes off it and when he finally gets it what does he do? He chews on it.

What’s my point?

A stick is just a stick and a thought is just a thought unless we give it the attention that allows it to be otherwise. If you pay attention to negative thoughts you will feel your anxiety intensify as the thought grows and preoccupies your mind.

You have the power to choose how you respond, when you feel a worry nagging for your attention get up and move. Walk away from it and find something else to focus on fast.

Anything that you find diverting and relaxing will help you put your attention elsewhere again. Take a walk, call a friend, read, do a crossword puzzle. Just find something else to do to divert your mind and help you gain distance and perspective.

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For help with controlling negative thoughts try our Silent Witness Breathing download - a simple anxiety breathing technique that can help you relax and step back from anxious thinking.

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