“Much of my anxiety is related to guilt over past actions where I was selfish and put my own needs before my family. In unexpected moments, when I think of what I did, the anxiety beast rises and sits in my solar plexus hot and alive and can spiral into panic if I let it. In those moments, I use EFT to calm down, but can’t get past the words ”….love myself deeply and completely“. How can I love myself when I feel guilty?”
When I was learning NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) I was taught that we all do the best we can in the moment. What that means is: even if we feel later that we didn't do so well - at that time we did the best we could with whatever resources we had.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing. It’s easy to look back and feel bad, but usually when we do that we are doing it after some time has passed and often some recovery from where we were then. And so we think: “What a mess I made then! I could do better than that now.”
Have a think with room for some self-compassion and consider: What if I really was doing the best I could at that time?
If you feel unhappy with your past choices and actions there is always the opportunity to have a conversation with those involved and to share your concerns.
Points covered in this podcast:
- EFT is an excellent choice for this kind of healing work
- getting past the words “….love myself deeply and completely”. How can I love myself when I feel guilty?
You are not alone. A lot of people get stuck on these very words when they start out with EFT Tapping.
Here are a few things you can try:
Just say it and tap anyway
Even when you are uncomfortable with the words you can just say them anyway, or whisper them and just keep tapping and EFT will help you get past feeling stuck on those words.
Take the opportunity to do some deeper self-healing work
You can apply EFT Tapping directly for getting stuck on those words if you want to clear feelings of guilt.
For example: you could practice EFT Tapping with the opening statement “Even though I can’t love and accept myself when I feel guilty, I am open to showing myself some understanding.”
In this way you are using EFT to state that even though you are stuck on this you are open to doing some healing work. Open to reviewing the circumstances you were in at that time that is causing you pain and open to showing yourself some self-kindness.
Create a statement of desire
You can continue tapping for your anxiety but tweak the set-up statement to say “I would like to love myself deeply and completely”
So now instead of getting stuck on the words you are changing them to a desire for self love and acceptance.
A work in progress
You could also change your statement to “I’m working on loving myself.”
or make it more light hearted and allow a little room for acceptance by saying: “Even though I have this … (chosen issue to tap on) I’m learning to love and accept myself a little bit.”
Allowing that little chink of light can be surprisingly powerful in your self-healing tapping.
For more details on get past the sticky bits with EFT Tapping please listen to the full podcast here:
EFT Tapping Resources: