484: For freedom from anxiety, ban these words from your self-talk
This week we’re talking about words to ban from your self-talk to remain free from anxiety.
“The words you speak become the house you live in.”
Language is the painter of our psychological experiences. If we think and talk hope, we will feel hope. But if our thoughts and dialogue are rooted in anxiety and fear, that is how we will feel. We will feel anxious, we will behave anxiously and we will further grow anxiety because we are feeding it at the root.
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“Don’t ask why me? Ask what now?”
Why me?
Often, during difficult times we ask why me? Or we stop to state we don’t like what’s happening to us. That's fine. To say it once or twice to those we trust, or to a page in our journal is a healthy statement of fact. But to let the mind keep replaying those thoughts becomes a disempowering belief. It holds us in objection and stops us from taking action.
Language is the painter of our psychological experiences. If we think and talk hope, we will feel hope. But if our thoughts and dialogue are rooted in anxiety and fear, that is how we feel. We will feel anxious, we will behave anxiously and we will further grow anxiety because we are feeding it at the root.
What if?
Often, we are completely unaware that the chatter running in our head is feeding our anxiety. But our inner dialogue is affecting our body and sense of peace at every moment and “what if” thoughts are some of the worst offenders.
What if thoughts are future based fears. They arise from anxiety about something happening down the line that we dread, or can’t control. But it isn’t happening now, it’s just a script we’re running, we’re writing a disaster movie and making ourself the star player.
What helps?
Come back to the present moment. Stop and take a breath and remind yourself this is just a story, nothing’s happened yet.
Draw your attention to where you are and what you’re doing. Fix your mind on the simplest fact of this moment.
Ask yourself: “Where am I?” and “What am I doing.”
Then affirm at this moment; ”I am here, and I’m OK.”
And know that what you do next has a direct impact on your future. You might not be able to control outcomes and situations but you can build peace of mind, you can follow proven steps to calm your anxiety, and build resilience. Then whatever comes, you’ll be in better shape to handle it.
Night thoughts
Sometimes our mind kicks in at night with the thoughts and words we’ve been trying to suppress all day. At such times, we can feel completely overwhelmed by our thoughts and at their mercy.
Ayurveda teaches that the qualities of nighttime can provoke a low mood and fearful thinking. Understanding this with self-compassion and knowing that things often feel better with the rising sun helps, but when living with anxiety we also need to be prepared.
- Keep some Bach Flowers Rescue Remedy and some water by your bed
- Apply lavender essential oil, or diffuse it in your room before sleep
If unwanted anxious thoughts wake you
- Put the light on, or if your sharing a room with someone else, move to where you can sit in the light
- Practice long exhale breathing
- Use the calming point
Ananga: I keep an mp3 player and calming book by my bed so I have something to hand to fill my mind with uplifting thoughts instead of the ones my mind will try and replay if it gets its way.
Often I will choose to move to another space with my book and put a lamp on and make some herbal tea. I would rather wake up and reset myself than lay there with my mind getting the upper hand. If I need help getting back to sleep I’ll listen to a guided breathing practice, or a guided meditation for sleep to keep the thoughts at bay while I drift back off.
Shann: I keep an essential oil blend (lavender, sandalwood, ylang-ylang ) for sleep and a book by my bed. Sleep frequency 432 Hz music or guided relaxations help me get back to sleep. On occasion, I’ll make some warm almond milk with a pinch of nutmeg or mix a glass of Natural Calm magnesium drink.
When we live in anxiety we are often fighting with our own minds, and we become exhausted. Learning to respond to anxiety with a deeper understanding of the mind and its tricks is the first step in diffusing fear and feeling greater peace and self-assurance.
“What you practice is who you’re going to be,
and what you think is how you’re going to feel. ”
Every day we have the opportunity to choose what we want to practice, and to upgrade our thoughts. No matter how busy or anxious we are, we can choose one small action to support ourselves and take a step towards more peace of mind and a deeper sense of fulfilment in our life.
Anxiety Relief Resource:
How to Calm Your Fragile Mind Finding freedom from unwanted thoughts
We often receive questions in our inbox asking us to teach more about finding relief from unwanted thoughts and painful emotions. And also receive regular requests for more information on Ayurveda and its teachings on calming the mind - this is the course where we go in-depth into both subjects.
- Discover how to use your senses to calm your mind
- Feel the Emotional Stress Release Technique dissolving worry from the forefront of your mind
- Follow a guided EFT Tapping Practice for honoring and soothing your emotions
- Experience our Guided Ayurvedic Meditation for finding peace in the present moment
I listened to a sample of How to Calm Your Fragile Mind. I cried. I cried because it made more sense than any medical practitioner I’ve met in my 38 years. Your words instantly helped me find relief. Thank you. -Nadine
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