611: Worrying about negative responses from people in my life
This week on the Anxiety Slayer podcast, we’re responding to a question from our private Facebook Group about worrying and anticipating negative responses from people in our lives.
SUBSCRIBE TO THE ANXIETY SLAYER PODCAST:
APPLE PODCASTS | STITCHER | PODBEAN | GOOGLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY I TUNEIN
Today’s Anxiety Slayer podcast is sponsored by Betterhelp
How we care for our minds affects how we experience life. So it’s important to invest time and care into keeping them healthy. There are plenty of ways to support a healthy brain, learning a new language or taking power naps. There’s also BetterHelp online therapy.
BetterHelp offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist, so you don’t have to see anyone on camera if you don’t want to. It’s much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours.
Give it a try and see why over 2 million people have used BetterHelp online therapy.
Special offer for Anxiety Slayer listeners, get 10% off your first month at http://betterhelp.com/slayer
Notes from this week’s episode:
Today we’re responding to a question from our private Facebook Group about worrying and anticipating negative responses from people in our lives.
This can be a very painful concern, no-one likes to feel judged or receive negative responses. Most people living with anxiety are deeply affected by conflict and criticism and have a strong need for harmony in their lives. We find comfort in understanding and being understood.
What helps?
The stronger we feel inside the better we cope with what comes from the outside.
Our personal resilience varies day to day, some days will feel easier than others. But if we work to support our boundaries/buffer it will gradually expand and we will feel a bit more weatherproof.
Prioritize personal values and integrity.
Reflection:
Who are we willing to be judged by?
Do we respect those that might give negative feedback?
Do we need to be in regular contact with them?
Understand the difference between judgment and constructive criticism.
We can’t control how someone else behaves towards us, or thinks about us. We can control our responses.
Most of the worry we have about what other people think about us isn’t grounded in reality.
The stories we tell ourselves can quickly get out of control when our ego takes hold of the narrative.
Awareness of our looping thoughts and complete screenplays.
Let go of tracking every word you say and every move you make.
People truly do not think about us or our actions as much as we think they do.
The power of daily journalling
Get your worries on the page.
Journaling to build a thread of awareness: identity, priorities, values.
When you are hard on yourself and worried about what others think…
Look for evidence that you are doing okay based on your life experiences, where you are today and all you’ve accomplished. Add this evidence to your journal.
Bach Flower Remedies
What are they?
Bach flower remedies are natural remedies developed by Edward Bach, an English homeopath, in the 1930s.
Mimulus
There are a few Bach Flower remedies that can help calm anxiety, one is for when we feel anxious and uneasy but we can’t say why. Mimulus is for when we know why. It offers support for social anxiety, anxiety about not coping well socially and can also support fears like being judged, or feeling uncomfortable with exchanges with others. It’s a good choice for the kind of anxiety we’re talking about here.
White Chestnut
White Chestnut we often recommend on the Podcast, this is the remedy to help calm looping unwanted thoughts. The kind of anxiety that gets stuck in our head and keeps repeating.
This is a good remedy for ruminating anxiety that might keep us up at night replaying conversations and events.
Larch
Larch is the remedy that helps build confidence. It supports us in trusting our abilities and choices and helps stop negative comparisons.
Where can you get them?
You can find Bach Flower remedies in most good health food stores, they’re also available online via Nelsons and Amazon.
Following many listener requests, Shann and I are working on a new course for calming anxiety with Ayurveda. The course will be available at the Anxiety Slayer Academy later this year. If you want early access, we’re releasing the new lessons as we create them to our top tier patrons. Become and Top Tier Patron and get early access to what is sure to be a popular course for anxiety relief!