433: Worried my anxiety is going to push friends and family away
In this episode, we are responding to a listener who is worried that their anxiety is going to push friends and family away.
Notes from the show:
One of anxiety's many tricks is to make us doubt our relationships with others, we might worry that we are too needy, or high maintenance, or that others might think we're crazy or weak.
This is part of the looping dialogue of anxiety that makes us think it's us. Anxiety prompts us to worry that “People will leave because there is something wrong with me.”
Ananga shares how disturbed vata can cause feelings of dissociation and self-doubt.
The Importance of Self-care and Self-acceptance
Taking care of anxiety with gentle healing practices and building a good relationship with ourself as a top priority.
We don’t have to suffer from anxiety in silence. Often letting a loved one or trusted friend know that we are suffering takes the pressure off. We don’t have to pretend we’re okay or try to keep up when what we really need is time for self-care. Let them know how you feel and what you need. If they can support you or if you need some alone time.
We can't control how people respond to us and our anxiety - that's their area of choice. But we can choose how we relate to those around us, and we can make sure we're listening and responding as best we can during our social interactions.
Look for exchanges and activities that don't spark anxiety. Going for walks, a yoga class, or swimming. See if you can find ways to be with the people you care about while not feeling overstimulated or spending too much nervous energy.
Sometimes, all the signs are there that we are cared about and the relationship isn’t likely to end, but anxiety can stop us from seeing the good in the situation. Anxiety can fill our mind with doubts and fears where there is the potential for reassurance.
It can be helpful to take note of those sweet moments where someone shows affection or understanding.
Breathe them in and write them down in a gratitude journal.
It’s not uncommon with vata disturbance for people to miss the very things they need the most. Vata always benefits from a hug, but when anxiety is running high, you might not notice those moments of opportunity for grounding and connection. If a hug is offered, make sure you know it!
Worrying our anxiety is going to push other people away is a future based fear, it hasn’t happened yet.
Practice being present in the relationship in the present moment.